Are your negative thoughts holding you back from being successful? Do you believe that most things don't go your way or even that your life seems filled with conflict and turmoil. Do you let daily events control how you feel inside? If you do, don't worry you're not alone. What's missing is your positive attitude.

Most people believe that they feel the way they do because they react to the events happening around them and there is nothing they can do about it.

However, despite all that, the events themselves have no power to make you feel one way or the other. You may find it hard to believe but it's true. The events themselves do not have any control over how you feel.

So if the things that happen in your life are not what make you feel, say, happy or sad then what is it?

Naturally you will say well when I see the drought in Kashmir earth quake affecting so many people, I'm bound to be affected. Yes of course you are, but that's because you have learned compassion during your formative years.

Therefore the answer is YOU. You alone, not the external events, have the power to control your feelings. Let me explain more how you can develop your positive attitude:

You return from your annual holiday in Pakistan to the news that your company has been taken over and you will probably be made redundant. Unless you are very unusual, this is what usually happens. Your immediate thoughts are: I need to get my CV sorted out and start applying for a job. What if I can't find one; how will I pay for the new car I just bought? Will they come to repossess it? You start to feel sick and wish you'd never gone on holiday in the first place.

What has started happening is your mind playing a series of negative images or 'pictures' caused by this sudden turn of events. But in reality nothing has happened yet, so the feelings of sickness and the worry are in response to something that hasn't even happened!

Now if instead of dwelling on these negative events that may or may not happen you can think of something positive you could change the outcome. By being positive and focusing on a good event from your past and reliving something that makes you feel secure you instantly start to feel better, instead of letting yourself get worked up. This is the power and control that you possess to get you on the right side of difficult times. This is simply anchoring you so that you can step back and see what is really happening. You are developing your positive attitude.

Naturally, I'm not suggesting you remain oblivious to problems around you, but the fact is that you can only make rational decisions when your head is clear. Now you are thinking clearly you can devise an action plan; if you do lose your job start by updating your CV. Who do you know that can help you out? What can you say to express your skills? Where can you brush up your interview techniques? These steps are much easier when you feel good about yourself. If you don't, it shows in your demeanor and losing your positive attitude makes finding a job much more difficult.

I said at the start that you learn how to react to events from others in your formative years and if you learn to control your negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones, it will be much easier to learn new reactions from your experiences instead of reverting to old patterns. You can find more help at Your Positive Attitude